Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, this blog fuels my soul and its only been a long 15+ month break… We were having a tough moment this afternoon where Cara was really upset over something that Emma did or said to her and she needed to have a time out and then of course Emma comes in and starts bothering her. Cara was really upset and just needed some time to herself so I suggested she go sit on the couch and look at a book.
With much debate over the fact that she wanted to read a book but there were no books that she liked, I walked into my office to grab a book and I found the books that I had published of THIS BLOG during my first year as a mom. I had two hard bound books published for the girls and it is FILLED with memories and pictures from their first year of life. I set the girls each up in chairs in SEPARATE rooms with their own book and said “Hey, I think this would be a cool book to read…”
As I was in the kitchen preparing lunch, I heard laughter and excited screams with comments like:
– “Mom, you gotta come see this!”
– “Mom, come see this!”
– “Mom, is this me or Cara?
– “Mom, who is this? Is this me?”
– “Mom, what were we doing here?”
– “Mom, this is soooo cool!!”
It was endearing and moved me to a few tears as I looked at this amazing artifact that I had created in that first year and thought to myself ‘Well, I pretty much turned into a slacker mom after that…”
Then I thought more to how I would answer the question of “Mom, why didn’t you keep going with the books?!” and thought about how pathetic some of my excuses would have been.
- Sorry girls, Mom has a lot of shit to do.
- I am exhausted all the time.
- I ran out of time.
- I’m just a loser and apologize ladies.
So what the heck?!?! Why wouldn’t I take a few moments every couple days or each week to pour my heart out to these lovely ladies that I would die for and would give anything in the world for but can’t seem to give them 10-15 minutes of my time in words. These kids say some hilarious shit so why not document more of it and let them read all about it later!
With that, I am left in my own personal reflective state as life has changed for us as a family, for me as a mom, and for me as a woman and human just trying to make a difference in this great big world. Things can always suck if you let them, but we have chosen to truly embrace change and always look forward to what we want!
So to my darling Cara and Emma, I want you to always be able to look back on this phase of life as you embark on the new adventure of kindergarten coming however a change in family dynamic and know that you are still the center of my universe and I am always thinking about how I can be a better mom and teach you everything you need to know to have an amazing life and grow up to be inspiring, talented, loving ladies.
Together we can change the world and conquer anything that we set out to do.
Love,
Mom
To my darling Cara and Emma 